God And Grief

I sat at my desk recently trying to compose a condolence card to a dear friend of mine who lost a loved one. I considered all the usual phrases of kindness and compassion that people offer to others during times of grief, but none of them would do. They were all too shallow, too generic, and too simplistic. For how do you offer comfort to someone who has lost a child? How do you offer real solace to someone who has lost a loved one, or suffered a tragedy, or is burdened by a constant affliction?

I struggled to find the right words, and none were coming to me. Instead, my thoughts kept returning to Mary, the mother of Jesus.

Mary has always stood out in the Bible as a model of submission to God’s will. Her reply in Luke 1:38 to the angel Gabriel to the news that she, a virgin, is pregnant with not only a child, but the Son of God is simply “I am the Lord’s servant…May it be to me as you have said.” Her faithfulness and complete trust in the Lord is inspiring.

Yet there is more to Mary’s story than her response to Gabriel. She is described as having “found favor with God.” In modern Christianity, the idea of God’s favor is often associated with success, prosperity, and good health. As Christians, we sometimes find ourselves working to gain favor from God through our actions or character development, and hope and pray we will be blessed by God materially and physically as a result.

But Mary’s life was not marked by material or physical blessings. In fact, much pain was brought into her life as a result of being favored by God. She was impregnated as a teenager out of wedlock, which carried the risk of being stoned for immorality. She delivered her child, the Savior of the world, in a dirty barn, surrounded by livestock. She was forced to flee her homeland, to protect her baby from those who were searching and hoping to kill him. And she watched as her perfect and sinless son was crucified on a cross at the young age of thirty - three years old.

Instead, Mary was blessed in different ways by being chosen to be the mother of the Son of God. Not only was she given a child, but also the gifts of motherhood and a family. And as much as those things filled her life with joy, or seemed specifically ordained by God for her life, they were still His to give and His to take away. Her joy did not stop God from removing what she most valued, in order to accomplish His purposes.

Despite the suffering she endured, God did not abandon Mary in her pain and grief. He gave her the opportunity to see Jesus’ gospel message begin to spread to the ends of the earth, and the gift of salvation offered to all men through her son’s death. He allowed her to see His purposes fulfilled, and that the death of her son was not wasted and the pain she felt was not in vain.

Just like Mary, God will show us His purposes when we lose something we hold dear. If we open our hearts, despite our anger and grief, and trust God, He will redeem our pain and suffering and show us how “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.“(Romans 8:28)

By Taylor Martin Wise, Copyright 2009